Upskirt alert … panties on view

As a 15 year old schoolboy before sex was invented in the 1960’s and the arrival of tights, one of Grumpy’s pleasures on his trip to school was following a young woman up the stairs on a ‘double decker’ bus to be greeted by the sight of the bare flesh gap between stocking tops and (generally) Marks and Spencer  ‘big knickers’. He never thought of this as being particularly perverted, since the thrill seemed to be universally shared with all his  male contemporaries.  Now, in the current febrile feminist atmosphere, this simple youthful pleasure may become a criminal offence, even though it may be argued that there are existing laws which may be broken by those more threatening  and overt acts with mobile phones.

Maria Miller, acting as moral guardian, called up-skirting ‘horrific’, with the current penchant for labelling all crimes with extreme labels [No, Maria, beheading recorded by some Jihadi on a mobile, or FGM perpetrated on innocent young girls,  is ‘horrific’,  so find a lesser word for this admittedly anti-social act.]

However, like much of the current focus on matters sexual, there is an odd counterpoint. A quick scan of the celeb loving Daily Mail, shows multiple up-skirt pictures, along with a variety of other ‘wardrobe malfunctions’ for example

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4191096/Jessica-Cunningham-suffers-wardrobe-malfunction.html or  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2621229/Zo-Kravitz-flashes-pink-knickers-suffers-wardrobe-malfunction-vintage-themed-Met-Gala.html or  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-5065629/Olivia-Culpo-reveals-daring-outfit.html or http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3117257/Emmauelle-Chriqui-puts-leggy-display-thigh-split-white-dress-Entourage-London-premiere.html

The accompanying text in one of these incidents reads  “The former Miss Universe looked ready to board a pirate ship in her Burberry ensemble which was saucily unbuttoned to show off more than she bargained for” .

This is plain disingenuous moonshine.  Of course she bargained, nay, planned, for itIf a female dons a dress  split to the navel, common sense would dictate that there is a high probability of revealing underwear – or worse if she goes commando –  (of which there are many examples, but which Grumpy has omitted for the sake of decorum).

The simple, real world, fact is that these actresses / celebs / reality stars “suffer”  these malfunctions either through rank stupidity or precisely because they know that the flash of panty or crotch will put their picture in the press.

So, does Maria Miller envisage that the Daily Mail will be prosecuted for having their photographers taking the red carpet  up-skirt photographs?  And how is the conflict to be resolved between a man taking a mobile phone picture of a woman accidentally flashing her panties in the park at lunchtime, and the Daily Mail doing exactly  the same thing on the red carpet ?

Or is it part of growing philosophy that womankind may tease, flash, flaunt and titillate mankind to any extent for monetary gain by exploiting hapless, libidinous males – what has been called ‘erotic capital’ –  whilst demanding ever more severe sanctions for any response, however minimal, to same ?

Builders beware … wolf whistling a passing girl with a skirt chosen to be above her butt may  in the future be rewarded by jail time.